Pearl

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
viridiandruid
reallyreallyreallytrying

cunningly avoiding tooth decay by going to bed with a single square of chocolate on my tongue for the bacteria to snack on instead of my teeth

lazorsandparadox

Fun fact! The bacteria in your mouth dont eat your enamel! They only eat sugars and such. The stuff that eats your enamel is the byproduct produced by the digestive process of the bacteria. In other words, the thing that causes tooth decay is the bacteria’s equivalent of shit, not the bacteria themselves!

tumblingoverstars

cunningly avoiding tooth decay by going to bed with a single piece of toilet paper on my tongue for the bacteria to wipe their ass on instead of my teeth

bob-belcher
fruitpinch

i was in the car with my dad and he said to me, “hey theres a sticker on that car with uh, that guy on it” and the car drove away before i could see it so my dad was trying to describe it to me he was like, “his face is inside of his hat” and i was like dad what in the world are you trying to say. so later i had completely forgotten about the whole thing but apparently he was still hung up on it cause he handed me a piece of paper with a small drawing on it and said “this is the guy”

image
rasec-wizzlbang

thats him officer

viridiandruid
kadywicker

the 4 gay representation horsemen of the apocalypse:

  • a cop
  • a villain who's shown to be more ~unhinged by their attraction to the same gender. bonus points if they're homoerotically obsessed with the protagonist/someone in general who doesn't return their feelings 😔
  • Dead
  • blink and you'll miss it in the background for 3 seconds and there's 500 articles written by buzzfeed about why this is a huge step forward for The Gays
elpiso

war pestilence death and famine in order